Here I sit on November 1, 2012 three weeks shy of a year of where I lost my focus. So much has happened in that year that led to my focus going down hill, but the majority can just be marked up to being BIG EXCUSES!
I have regained my focus and am working on regaining my drive. I'm all about the numbers and I think the numbers in this case speak for themselves. I weighed in this morning, and have just now compared that number to 1 year ago today........ surprisingly I only weigh in 3.2 pounds heavier then last year. Considering a lot of factors that isn't horrible, but imagine if I had kept to my goal. That number would probably be between the range of 30-60 pounds lighter. That is a sad idea to consider. Why did I let myself fall so far off track, why didn't I seek medical help sooner when I knew something wasn't right. Being injured puts you in a very unhealthy state of mind. I found myself wanting to not ever get out of bed, or if I would get up all I wanted to do was find a reason to get back to bed. I wasn't getting restful sleep, I was seeing a chiropractor on a weekly basis, and while he seemed to have "cured" my allergies he actually caused something much worse in the long run.
In August of 2012 I had finally had enough, I couldn't keep on living like this. I went to my normal doctor, presented him with my latest xrays from my chiropractor and told him something was wrong. I was almost daily in pain, my neck was making me so sick I didn't want to leave the house (sometimes I physically couldn't leave the house). I wasn't sleeping through the night, heck I think I was lucky to sleep a total of four hours a night. I was just always feeling miserable.
Unfortunately for me the doctor didn't see any big obvious reason for my pain. He decided to send me for an MRI, he isn't one to recommend such drastic testing but since I was dealing with this for over a year he knew I needed something. Panic quickly overcame me, I guess I'm one that always jumps to worst case scenario. I immediately thought it had to be a tumor on my spine, I must have cancer, blah blah blah. Why I couldn't just have a positive outlook, who knows. Results from the MRI came back as I have mild arthritis and two bulging disks. YIKES!!! I'm only 29 how can I have arthritis in my spine. With my doctors prescription I was headed to physical therapy to see if I could find some relief.
Physical therapy is no joke! It was brutal, we discovered I had lost a lot of strength in my upper body, my range of motion was practically nonexistent. How could a year have done this to me? Over the course of physical therapy we discovered that my shoulder/back muscles had started to over compensate for my lack of strength in holding my neck up. I had major muscle tension that took us close to three months to even to relieve to the point where I only have a few knots in my back muscles versus my whole back being a big knot! As part of the physical therapy at every session (3 times a week) I was put in neck traction for ten minutes. At a session about 3/4 through my journey we put a little more traction on then normal and I felt a pop/movement in my neck. The therapist had never really had anyone describe it like that, but that is how it felt to me. From that day on I have had NO pain, I've been sleeping better, my range of motion has highly improved, my strength is coming back and I'm honestly feeling like a light bolb went off in my head and turned my body back on. I feel like me again, I feel happy, I feel healthy.
Today marks two weeks post physical therapy. I am finally ready to truly return to the gym and get my butt in gear. I have stayed a member of an online training group, Bikini Ready Now. I have an amazing support system of 29 girls from all across the country. We are all at different stages of the journey, some have already competed, some never will, others have had amazing photo shoots. I will be another success story for my coach Tracy Nelson. She has had faith in me and never gave up on me this entire journey. I owe it to MYSELF to reach my goal.
This pretty much brings you all up to speed on where I've been, my future posts will now focus on the daily successes and weakness as I strive for this goal. I look forward to finishing this journey with you by my side.
~Jenny
